It's been 5 years...

I'm baaaaaack! Well hello there, it's been quite a while. I must say I've missed blogging. I never really stopped writing I just haven't really done it one here. 3 things lead me back to my good ol' blog here. One was since I cancelled my Myspace account 6 months ago it left a void, while Facebook has a notes section its not really quite a "blog. Two would be Rikki and I discussing when we used to blog here 5 years ago at Kenny's birthday party. Three would be Cindy starting her blog on this site. After that I knew I HAD to start again. So well here I am! A lot has changed but some things well always stay the same.

I find that the last time I blogged on here was at the end of a great summer where I had ultimately set a goal of losing weight. I did achieve my goal. I had lost 30 pounds from May-August of 2005. I had felt so great. So many wonderful things had changed for me when I had done that. But now I sit here 5 years later back at square one plus 10 pounds. I recently decided on Thanksgiving of 2009 that I needed to change that. I weighed in at 216 pounds. 20 pounds more than I weighed back in May 2005 which I thought at the time was the HUGEST I would ever let myself become. Well obviously I was wrong. I did maintain that first weight loss in 2005 for about a year and a half before I started to gain weight again. But my weight Really started to explode around 2008. When I lost all the weight I was 165 my September 2005, I weighed in at around 175 in November 2007 jumping to 195 in September 2008 to 216 by November 2009. So 2 years 40 pounds. What caused it? STRESS. Career stress, relationship stress and pure refusal to do anything in life becuase I felt so beaten down. I was severely depressed over so many mnay things. It really started to obviously show. But I did'nt see it. It honestly took a one person to really sink into my head that I was fat. I hated what he said at the time but it was the damn truth. Another friend pissed me off by saying that I was doing nothing about my weight while we were hooking up. I'm thinking to myself SERIOUSLY? What an asshole. It bothered me and bothered me for months in my head. And in turn they were both right, I was fat and wasn't doing anything about it.

Well I decided to do something. I lost 10 pounds since Thanksgiving. Over the holidays though I gave into temptation. While I didn't gain much back thankfully I was at a plateau and then I had gotten sick twice badly. I lost my focus for about 3 weeks, which sucked becuase in that time more weight coulda been lost. I think my extreme routine maybe broke my body down, I shocked it, which I wanted too but it was a lot of stress. I think my body is at a more stable position and ready to conquer the goals I set.

I'm not going to turn this blog into my journey of weightloss. It's going to be my outlet of my life struggles. I just wanted to outline a big struggle that even after 5 years I am still dealing with. I hope that maybe I can help inspire one person besides myself that will reach their goals. Its a long road but trust me in a snap of two fingers life just flys on by.